Deserving! Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness, or something like that.

Everyone has been asking for some new blogs from me, truth is I felt that I couldn't justify the time. Perhaps I thought I didn't deserve it.

I have been battling with this word, or perhaps the concept for some time now. How is it that someone can be deserving of something? Moreover, how can someone be more deserving of something than someone else? Why do we feel as if we do not deserve something, especially when it is something we probably already have? I ask a lot of questions around this word in order to get a better understanding of what it is all about.

Does the single Mother of two children in a war ridden country deserve three meals a day any more than I do? For that matter do I deserve three meals a day? I am certain I could survive on less however I have become accustomed to eating Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner as we westerners affectionately call them. It is simply my lifestyle and my position on the globe that affords me this luxury. To a third world mother who is accustomed to a bowl of rice and a cup of soup, this might be considered an extravagance.

“I work hard and I deserve better.” This is a common theme in American culture. We are programmed to believe that because we work and earn money that we need to spend it on bigger and better things. The truth of the matter is that these things are usually not needs at all but wants. Quite likely most are not even necessities. Keeping up with the Jones’s has become a pastime, one of which we are all familiar with. What makes them think they deserve such a big house?

I have been thinking about what it means to deserve something. According to the dictionary there are two definitions for the word deserve, neither of which stand on their own without including other factors.

1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.

2. to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc.: to reward him as he deserves; an idea deserving of study.

Worthy. Am I worthy of having a hot shower? Is it a reward for a job well done? Is it a punishment for getting dirty? Is it something I have earned through things I have done? Perhaps you had a bad day at work and you just want to go and stand in the steam to relax but since you messed everything up at the office you feel you don’t deserve that luxury.

We have come to look at life and the actions we take as deserving reward or punishment, there is simply no in-between. The fact of the matter is that there is really neither one. We create reward and punishment by our own opinions. To deserve is always a choice and a decision. it lies deeply embedded in the grey area of balance and therefore cannot take one side or the other without causing controversy. The entire word plays on the psyche and disallows a neutral decision. Why then is this word so securely embedded in our culture?

So the next time you feel yourself in need of justification of weather or not you are deserving, try to find that center ground between the two. Balance is usually more powerful than either of the extremes, that is of course unless you feel that deserve better. As for me, I will settle for a good nights sleep, after all, I deserve it!

Recycled Greenhouse Update.

Here is the view from the Northwest
And A shot of the inside.


Thought I would put up a couple photos with the plastic on it.

Recycled What?- Greenhouse

That's right, this greenhouse is being made of almost entirely recycled materials. Not only that, most of these materials were probably recycled before for much different uses. The idea came about when we here at Roblee Farms ran out of room for our Vegetable starts. On the edge of one of the gardens was an old barn sight and under part of that sight was a couple old concrete slabs.

Todd had shown me the old Silo Bands he had discovered in the garden with the rototiller and although they were a bit distorted, they looked like they would make great supports for a plastic cover. There was also a fair amount of galvanized pipe from the old watering system for the livestock and this got the gears in motion. I have always enjoyed makings things from scrap so I set to work.

Todd cleared the bulk of the slab with the skid-steer and after a little shovel work we had a base.

By the end of the first day I had about half the basic frame in place and had had enough of hacksaw, chisel and concrete for a while. It was not until I looked at the frame the next morning that I discovered just how badly bent the hoops had been. The photo on the right shows one of the smaller half inch bands, covered with old black plastic pipe.

I created a bending vice and re-shaped most of the seven hoops that would be used before I went any farther. It would take most of that day to finish setting the pipes through the concrete that the hoops would set into. They are spaced at three feet apart and will be braced at 3 foot intervals from the top, or so was the plan. By the end of the third day there was something that was beginning to resemble a greenhouse frame. The finished dimentions are 12 feet by 18 feet.

I found some old baseboards, used trim and broken wainscot in the old chicken coup and ripped some of it down to frame the end walls. Thick with layers of paint, I was glad I had a power saw for that part. By the end of day four I had framed the end walls, a door and a vent and other than a couple hinges the greenhouse should be ready for plastic, which too will be recycled from a weatherproofing project. I can't wait to see it covered.

Here is a list of purchased materials for this project.

2 hacksaw blades. $1.50
2 pounds of wood screws.$6.79
1 20' X 25' piece of poly. $19.90 ( Probably saved for next year.)
10 feet of Duct Tape. In stock (Everything needs that.)
The rest is recycled! Priceless!

Now for the benches!
I need two 18 foot and one 15 foot.
Wanders off to look for more old material... Maybe those tree branches over there...

What do you cover your lodge with?

It seems that lately there has been considerable discussion over the coverings for Sweatlodge. Worries about plastic and the chemicals they can produce like dioxins. Since lodge is such a part of me and I take it very seriously I decided to do some research into the issues. I began with my friend Google.

Some plastics are just nasty, things like vinyl that is used in beach balls and shower curtains is evident enough by the smell alone. The constant out-gassing of these types of product would not be appropriate at all for a lodge. I even have a hard time sleeping on one of the blow up vinyl mattresses. Black Polyethylene is another plastic I would avoid at all costs, it doesn't breathe and it too gases all the time. Even those blue tarps that many people use are a bit too plastic for my liking although I have covered a lodge with one to keep it dry until it could be picked up or to keep the snow out of the lodge until lodge day.

This got me thinking about the covers I use on my lodge. I have a lot of old blankets and my large blackout curtains that I like so well, so I checked a bunch of tags and sure enough they are mostly synthetic. Polyester was by far the majority of material and the black out liners in the curtains were 65% polyester and 35% cotton. I started with this material to see what I could find about the health effects. It turns out that of all synthetic fabrics, Polyester was one of the most stable with very little off-gassing. It is also fire resistant and self extinguishing, that's not to say it won't burn.

I researched the health effects which led me to Wikipedia and a study on dogs which can be found at http://www.springerlink.com/content/u1345t62476601vn/ it is from the Department of Surgery and Research, Faculty of Medicine, Cairo University, Cairo, Egypt. The end result claimed that the most likely cause for the differences in sperm count was the electrostatic properties of Polyester. No that is not a typo. Dogs in underwear.

It is also apparent that the material used in these curtains has been tested for fairly high temperatures since it is designed to block sunlight in a south facing window of your home or office in temperatures that far exceed the covering on the lodge. This put my mind at ease about the curtains.

The blankets on the inside were my next thought so I looked into them also. Who would have thought that one of the preferred uses for Polyester was in electric blankets. Some are combined in a blend with acrylics but many state 100% Polyester.

I am not a plastic fan by any stretch of the imagination, in fact I avoid plastic where I can. It has some very good uses, however it also has many over uses. I recycle all that the recyclers will take and reuse much of the plastic I can with a last resort of throwing it away. If I had my druthers, I would cover my lodge with animal pelts like it was done hundreds of years ago, even though that is neither practical nor health conscious, since when they get wet they can harbor some pretty nasty bacteria and germs. At least it would be all natural. For now I will stick with recycled, safe materials.

For several years now I have been priding myself on my respect and honor for Sweatlodge and all that it stands for. I have read books, visited other lodges and built several for others who show proper respect. I believe it is a wonderful space for prayer, reflection, healing and connection with nature and the spiritual. The ancient knowledge and the experience of lodge when offered with respect and honor is a most positive experience, life changing for some. It is with great respect and deepest regard that I offer Sweatlodge to those who wish to share these experiences with me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyester

It's Official, Medicine Walk is released.

That's right, the album is ready and copies are being burned right now. Printing and trimming inserts, sticking labels and updating the website. It is a busy time for sure and most exciting. Go and check it out at http://cwwolf.com under the Albums tab.

My best to all.
~Cloud

Medicine Walk | C.W. Wolf: Album Release

Medicine Walk by C.W. Wolf, the Album!
It is finished, well all but the duplication, printing, labels and distribution. I have even taken the time to add the cd text elements, database entries for online retrieval and several other niceties.

All is going very well considering Mercury is in retrograde. I am expecting to have a first release available for purchase in several days. Here is a bit of info from the liner.


C.W. Wolf finally listened to those around him, following his musical roots to produce his first album. Other than the bird sounds and chime which were from Public Domain, all material on this album was created by C.W. Wolf including Music, Recording, Photography, Artwork and Performance. More information and Photos are available on his web site www.cwwolf.com

About the Music:

Coyote’s Wish and At the Hall were recorded by C.W. Wolf in 2008 at the Killington Events Hall on Mini Disk and adapted to the current album. All other tracks were recorded at Heron Brook Haven in December 2009 and early 2010.

Brookside includes a recording of the brook which passes through the property. The flute is a Poplar Native American style six hole flute with a Wolf Saddle Block.

My Lady is the first song I have written for Dulcimer and was written for my “Fit” Jana, My Lady, who “Lets me know, I can be everything I want to be.” Learn more about us at www.heronbrookhaven.com

Medicine Walk reflects my journey into the spiritual aspects I have been overlooking for far too long. It features some of my home made instruments including my hand drum and rattle. The flute is an Em, six hole Native American style of Eastern White Cedar with a large bore.

Circling Hawk is played on a High Spirits high A Flute, Hand drum and Turtle Shell Rattle.

The Hermit Thrush is played on my old Guild Acoustic and my White Raven Red Cedar Flute in the key of Cm. Visit www.whiteravendrums.com to see more of Kia’s beautiful work.

Moongazer was performed on a most unique Flute called “The Fire Crow” It is named for the lightning struck Red Cedar which was lovingly crafted by Bruce Kroeber. It is a closed end flute with an intricate carving of a crow on the end. This flute was gifted to me by Bruce. See photos at cwwolf.com

Djembey Jam is a fun piece I started with my Rhythm Roots Djembey, adding a couple tracks with my White Cedar Em Flute.

Solitude is played on a Poplar, Gm Cherokee Style Flute made by Spiritman Walking, #19.

The Bamboo Flute is just that, A flute I made from Bamboo that was growing at Horse of a Different Color Ranch in West Virginia. Dedicated to Brother Stevie and Earth Mama.

Preview Mix is excerpts from a test for my next album. The recording is live and actual sound at Heron Brook Haven and I am really looking forward to recording in this secret location again.

© C.W. Wolf 2010 All Rights Reserved

My Lady - C. W. Wolf

My Lady - C. W. Wolf
Here is the preview.
Okay, you asked for vocals so I included one vocal track on the new Album. My Lady is a song I carry very close to my heart. Written on the Dulcimer, it has inspired me to broaden my instrumental boundaries as I continue to make music with love and respect. I hope you enjoy this piece.
~C.W.

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