Deserving! Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness, or something like that.

Everyone has been asking for some new blogs from me, truth is I felt that I couldn't justify the time. Perhaps I thought I didn't deserve it.

I have been battling with this word, or perhaps the concept for some time now. How is it that someone can be deserving of something? Moreover, how can someone be more deserving of something than someone else? Why do we feel as if we do not deserve something, especially when it is something we probably already have? I ask a lot of questions around this word in order to get a better understanding of what it is all about.

Does the single Mother of two children in a war ridden country deserve three meals a day any more than I do? For that matter do I deserve three meals a day? I am certain I could survive on less however I have become accustomed to eating Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner as we westerners affectionately call them. It is simply my lifestyle and my position on the globe that affords me this luxury. To a third world mother who is accustomed to a bowl of rice and a cup of soup, this might be considered an extravagance.

“I work hard and I deserve better.” This is a common theme in American culture. We are programmed to believe that because we work and earn money that we need to spend it on bigger and better things. The truth of the matter is that these things are usually not needs at all but wants. Quite likely most are not even necessities. Keeping up with the Jones’s has become a pastime, one of which we are all familiar with. What makes them think they deserve such a big house?

I have been thinking about what it means to deserve something. According to the dictionary there are two definitions for the word deserve, neither of which stand on their own without including other factors.

1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.

2. to be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense, etc.: to reward him as he deserves; an idea deserving of study.

Worthy. Am I worthy of having a hot shower? Is it a reward for a job well done? Is it a punishment for getting dirty? Is it something I have earned through things I have done? Perhaps you had a bad day at work and you just want to go and stand in the steam to relax but since you messed everything up at the office you feel you don’t deserve that luxury.

We have come to look at life and the actions we take as deserving reward or punishment, there is simply no in-between. The fact of the matter is that there is really neither one. We create reward and punishment by our own opinions. To deserve is always a choice and a decision. it lies deeply embedded in the grey area of balance and therefore cannot take one side or the other without causing controversy. The entire word plays on the psyche and disallows a neutral decision. Why then is this word so securely embedded in our culture?

So the next time you feel yourself in need of justification of weather or not you are deserving, try to find that center ground between the two. Balance is usually more powerful than either of the extremes, that is of course unless you feel that deserve better. As for me, I will settle for a good nights sleep, after all, I deserve it!